Wayne Rooney is expecting another baby

Ronaldo wants out of Madrid

When Guillem Balague says it, it must be true. The Spanish expert who broke the news on Guardiola’s exit has now predicted Ronaldo’s departure after he didn’t not celebrate scoring over the weekend and was seen crying on the bench.

He is reportedly angry with the way Kaka has been treated by club officials.

He had this to say in a news conference.

Maybe his £220k a week pay check and model WAG with help him get over that!

Cash-strapped Romanian club thrashed 31-0 by lower-league team

A cash-strapped Romanian second division side, CS Buftea, paid the price for fielding a side of teenagers when they were thumped 31-0 by the third-tier ACS Berceni in a Romanian cup match.

Buftea celebrated promotion to the second division in May, but a team containing predominantly under-19 players were on the wrong end of an avalanche of goals in the fourth preliminary round match.

Buftea, located 20km north-west of capital Bucharest, had hoped to improve after a tough first half in which they conceded 12 goals – but after half-time they let in another 19. Local media reported the loss as a record defeat in Romanian football.

The victorious ACS Berceni president Stephen Stana said the experience had left him feeling uncomfortable. “I’m ashamed to tell you the score. But it’s not our fault that they disregarded the competition.”

Liverpool’s Lucas Attempts to be Hitler

In an attempt to out do Suarez with his racism, Lucas decided to be Hitler for a day and even shows up at a press conference with the famous tash. Shame on you Luke!

Fancy a Barca shower?

Well now you can! We’re not even joking. A Spanish paper has launched a Barcelona shower head. It has 15 red and blue LED lights that make up the club’s crest.

Paddy Kenny’s Abusive Call to Rob Green In Full

After QPR were demolished by the Swans, the R’s ex goal keeper decided to leave a voice message to club owner Fernandes. It went like this…

 ‘It’s Rob Green’s agent here, I just wondered, er, how you got on today. I didn’t really see the fucking score but I heard it didn’t go too well. But, never mind, Robbo’s a good keeper. Don’t you worry about that, he’s a good keeper.’

Considering one of the few reasons why Kenny got sacked were his many blunders perhaps Kenny should have been celebrating his Leeds win instead of mocking QPR.

Man City Launch New Away Kit for Europe

Manchester City have launched what can only be described as a stunning 3rd kit and instead are branding it as their European Away Kit.

When compared to the Premiership away kit which we think is hideous we are actually thinking of buying one its that beautiful!

What do you think fellow dribblers?

Real Madrid Include Modric Profile on Website

Whoever manages Madrid’s website made the mistake of publishing his full player profile and bio page.

Once fans noticed it, Modric’s picture and personal info was quickly removed and his name was replaced with “Null Null,” which was soon trending on Twitter and just might stick as a nickname for the Croatian. Probably a lot nicer than what Spurs chairman Daniel Levy has been calling him lately.

Arsenal’s Andre Santos Caught in 130mph Chase

Today’s Sun features Arsenal’s Brazilian left-back on the front-page, reporting that the star was involved in a car chase with police.

It appears Arsenal’s first 3 points of the season will go on Andre Santos’ driving license as he’s caught doing 130mph

Apparently, Santos could even end up going to prison.

Piers Morgan is not too happy with RVP

After hearing the news about Robin Van Persie leaving to Manchester United, Peir Morgan decided to take his frustration out on Twitter which usually frustrated hald of the human population.

This time however, not many were pissed off by him as it was quite enjoyable to see him pissed off.

Now Piers, do us all a favour and jump off a bridge.